New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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