someone threw a dead crab at me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
