Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
