Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
