i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
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Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
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Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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