can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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