that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
