dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
