i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
