it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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