there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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