I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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