Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
