they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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