Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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