i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
