Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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