Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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