I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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