Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize