How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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