I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
