Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
