Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
