I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
