Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
