We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
