you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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