Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize