You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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