It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
