Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
