I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
