it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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