Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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