How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
