I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
