Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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