I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
