Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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