i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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