the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
