shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
