just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
