I've blown a few things in my day
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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