I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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