god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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