Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize