google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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