I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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