so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
