Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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