check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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