I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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