it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize