Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
