i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
