butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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