he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize