like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize