He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
