I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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