My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
