dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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