11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
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The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize