I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
